Experiencing a loss is an inevitable part of life, yet do you notice how our culture often pressures us to “move on” fairly quickly after we’ve experienced trauma or life change?
For many, substances such as drugs or alcohol can become a sanctuary from those emotions that might otherwise completely consume us. They’re a way to temporarily silence the pain of a loss or tragedy.
But what happens when that temporary relief begins to feel like a permanent escape? One that you can’t seem to find your way out of?
Grief and addiction run far deeper than many realize. When we lose something dear, grieving and mourning are a natural response that helps us process the hard moments while preparing us for the next chapter.
However, allowing substance use to become substance abuse in the midst of a loss can quickly spiral into something much worse.
What began as a way to grieve a loss can become a tragedy in itself unless you find the right help and treatment.
Grief Has Many Forms
When you study the human emotion of grief, you’ll find it to be far more complex than “sadness.”
Normal bouts of grief are painful yet often temporary. They follow a natural progression where emotions are felt and processed through the grieving process and then are naturally integrated into our life experience. For many, grieving can strengthen resolve and help boost resiliency.
But complicated or delayed grief can happen when this natural process hits a cul-de-sac, and you are unable to exit. This spiral can happen when the loss feels too great to overcome or there are external pressures that discourage your natural emotional expression.
Sometimes, severe trauma can so damage the psyche that it is difficult to come out without professional help.
Without that help, you may feel compelled to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol. Substance mixed with severe, ongoing grief or clinical depression can be a deadly mix.
How Does Grief Lead to Addiction?
As you can imagine, substances can quickly become problematic if they turn occasional relief into constant avoidance of one’s situation. There are a variety of different substances that promise temporary relief from grief – but can become addictive quickly when misused.
Alcohol
Alcohol is often a go-to for numbing emotional pain, and the fact that it is socially acceptable and readily available makes it an easy choice for those who want to “take the edge off.” However, the numbing and sedative effects of alcohol can become dangerous when abused.
Opioids
Another method for coping with grief is opioids. Opioid medication has a strong numbing effect as well as physical relief. Those who are processing severe emotional pain and trauma may opt for opioid use to disconnect from their current reality and experience relaxation.
Benzodiazepines
Similar to opioids, benzodiazepines can help individuals manage their severe emotions. Benzodiazepines are designed to target anxiety and panic but can become dangerous when misused. They can also delay or prevent the natural processing of difficult emotions – which can prolong one’s suffering.
Stimulants
Some choose to use stimulants to avoid the depression and lethargy that can come with grief and loss. Many stimulants can offer artificial energy to “function normally,” but they fail to address underlying pain.
Signs You May Be Using Substances to Avoid Grieving
Recognizing that you may be misusing a substance to avoid natural grieving is important, as it’s the first step toward true healing. When you know the signs to watch out for, you can take steps to seek out treatment before the consequences become dire.
Do you find it hard to discuss your loss without substance use?
If you find it impossible to talk about the person or situation you’ve lost without first consuming drugs or alcohol, you may be on the path toward dependency.
Do you feel emotionally numb or detached?
If you feel disconnected from your emotions most of the time, substances might be creating an artificial barrier between you and your feelings.
Are you using drugs or alcohol after grief triggers?
Noticing increased substance use around anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, or when encountering reminders of your loss suggests you’re medicating specific emotional pain.
Does it seem like you “can’t feel” without substance?
If emotions only seem accessible when using drugs or alcohol – or if the idea of sobriety feels as bad as the grief itself – substances may have become your coping mechanism.
Why is Numbing Grief So Dangerous?
Using substances to “numb out” while experiencing grief often feels like relief in the moment. But that temporary relief is just that – temporary.
When these numbing behaviors continue for long periods of time, you may begin to see consequences that are far worse and long-lasting than the initial grief itself.
For instance, you may find yourself “emotionally stagnant” – where you find you can’t move through the natural healing process because substances are preventing you from processing your deeper emotions. This can actually cause the deep-seated grief to get worse over time.
Avoidance combined with substance abuse can also increase your risk of developing serious mental health conditions. You may find that you develop treatment-resistant depression and severe anxiety disorders, as well as complicated grief syndrome.
This can also dramatically increase your overdose risk as you make increasingly dangerous decisions to avoid feeling grief.
Can I Manage My Addiction and Grief in Rehab?
If you fear that your grief has metastasized into an addiction to substances, the first step is to seek treatment for your addiction.
Once you begin to remove the obstacle of addiction from your path, you can start naturally processing your grief and pain in a more natural way – with the help of a team of professionals by your side.
Trauma-informed therapy approaches are a great place to start. This type of therapy can help you understand why a substance is such a powerful coping mechanism for unprocessed emotional wounds.
Rather than simply focusing on stopping substance use, these approaches help individuals safely experience and process their grief within a supportive environment.
Many treatment centers now incorporate specialized grief counseling and support groups that create safe spaces to work through deep, difficult emotions without judgment. The result is consistent steps toward healing, hope, and a renewed sense of purpose in life.
What Are Healthy Alternatives to Numbing?
One goal of seeking recovery programs for numbing-related substance abuse is to replace those activities with positive, healthy alternatives.
Some find joy in journaling or creative expression, which can help them move through grief naturally as they process their pain through word and art. Others find that professional grief therapy helps them find a structure that supports healing in a safe space.
Finding others who are experiencing grief as well – and entering into a professionally-led accountability group with them – can be a great way to process difficult moments without feeling alone in your pain.
Treatment programs are one of the most effective ways to start long-term healing. When you can treat both substance abuse disorders and your grief with a trained professional, you’ll find it much easier to come up for air and find hope for the future.
Healing Beyond the Pain is Possible
The most important thing to remember is that you are not weak or fundamentally flawed. Grief is a universal experience for all people, and addiction often arises as a reasonable response to unreasonable pain.
But using substances for temporary relief of grief works… until it doesn’t.
Seeking out recovery doesn’t mean your pain will disappear overnight. But taking the first step toward healing does mean you can learn how to carry your pain and grief in a way that doesn’t leave you in a cul-de-sac of despair.
Each loss matters, and your pain is valid. That is why our team at United Recovery Project is ready to work with you to take your next step in healing.
Our treatment methods – including CBT and DBT therapy – honor both your losses and your strength, and we know that real recovery involves healing the whole person, including the wounds that led to substance use in the first place.
You deserve support as you learn to mourn rather than numb, to feel rather than avoid, and to build a life that honors both your losses and your potential for healing.
Contact us today at 888-960-5121 for a confidential consultation, and let’s discuss how you can begin processing your pain in a way that helps you heal and renew your hope for tomorrow.
