Addiction can impact many areas of a person’s life, including relationships with family. When things have happened in the past, such as lying about drug use, neglecting important responsibilities, or making decisions that had a negative impact on others, trying to regain trust after addiction can feel like a long and challenging process.
Fortunately, rebuilding trust after sobriety is possible. The right strategies for healing after addiction can help.
We’ll provide you with strategies for success in this article, covering how addiction can damage trust, strategies to repair relationships with family, and how treatment options like family therapy for addiction recovery can assist.
Why Addiction Damages Trust
Addiction can be hard on everyone in the family. Many things can happen because of addiction that lead to trust issues after rehab, such as:
- Lying: It’s common to want to lie to cover up the addiction. However, when family members find out later, it creates a significant gap in trust that affects the relationship.
- Emotional wounds: Seeing someone you care about struggling with addiction leaves a lot of emotional wounds that require healing. That can include feeling anger, frustration, fear, worry, guilt, shame, or embarrassment. All emotions are valid. It’s important to understand how addiction affected family members and to work toward making amends in recovery.
- Financial burdens: Addiction can cause someone to overspend, borrow money from family members, or put the family in a tough financial situation. It can lead to a lot of tension trying to overcome the financial impact.
- Relationship dissatisfaction: It’s common for a partner to feel dissatisfied when their loved one is struggling with addiction. They may end up taking on more responsibilities, being a sole provider for the kids, or feel like the relationship is being neglected while their partner is preoccupied with drug use.
- Family instability: Violence, anger, tension, separation, or divorce that occurs because of addiction can create instability for partners, kids, and others in the picture. Many who complete rehab feel a need to rebuild that sense of stability that was lost because of addiction.
Studies show that family counseling that focuses on social recovery issues can play a big role in the success of a rehab program. Managing social recovery issues can help create a better quality of life and reduce the chance of relapse after completing treatment. A lot of times, that starts with acknowledging the pain caused and working toward making amends.
Acknowledging the Pain You Caused
It’s common to hear the term “making amends” in addiction rehab programs and popular support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). That’s because it’s an important aspect of repairing family relationships in sobriety.
While working toward making amends, it’s important to get comfortable owning your past mistakes without defensiveness. That process will likely bring up some pain and regret, and working with a therapist will help you manage the emotions that come up.
As you start to feel ready, it’s a good idea to reach out to family members affected by your addiction, apologize for the wrongs done, and try to find healthy ways to make up for it.
Remember that healing takes time for everyone involved, so family members might not feel ready to forgive you right away. That’s why resources like therapy and support groups are a great asset in this process that will help you work through emotions that continue to arise.
Family therapy can also help each person involved voice their concerns and work through issues together in a healthy way.
Making Amends Without Expectations
Making amends in recovery means acknowledging the harm done and actively working toward repairing the damage. For example, that might mean showing up for your family when you haven’t in the past, taking on extra responsibilities, or helping family members with things they’re struggling with.
It’s important to make amends without expectations. As mentioned, forgiveness takes time, and that’s okay. You can still appreciate that you’re making progress, while knowing that more work needs to be done for family members to put trust in you again.
Working with your treatment team, attending therapy, and continuing to show up to support group meetings can all help you heal and feel a sense of stability in this process.
Steps to Rebuild Trust
To provide a clear overview, here are the essential steps to rebuild trust after sobriety.
Be Consistently Honest
It’s important to consistently be honest when lying and broken promises have happened in the past. Work toward being open with your family and following through on what you say as you try to make amends.
Set Healthy Boundaries
It’s natural that there might be some tension after struggles with addiction. Even as you’re trying to repair relationships, it’s healthy to set boundaries on your end too and avoid situations that negatively impact your well-being.
Additionally, if family members set boundaries that they need, it’s a good idea to respect those to show you care and are willing to give them time to heal.
Communicate Openly and Often
A lack of communication can often put a strain on family relationships. Showing that you’re willing to communicate by regularly asking family members about what they’re experiencing, what they could use help with, and sharing your struggles or accomplishments are good ways to rebuild that aspect of relationships.
Let Your Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Work to repair relationships through positive actions. That means putting in the work to keep showing up for your family, keep promises, maintain sobriety, and continue to live a healthier lifestyle.
Rebuilding Relationships Through Support and Time
It often takes time for all family members to heal completely after addiction. It’s important to avoid rushing anything, so everyone has a chance to cope with what they experienced. Some key strategies that can help with continued success are:
- Consistently attending family therapy, sharing openly, and working to understand each family member’s thoughts and emotions
- Setting small milestones for recovery and family relationships that you can celebrate together
- Taking the time to share relapse concerns, address them, and learn strategies that can help prevent it
A study from the Journal of Substance Abuse also mentioned the importance of an individualized approach in this process. Family therapy that’s customized to your specific needs can help address relevant problems while moving at a pace that’s right for you to achieve better success rates.
What Family Members Need to Know
As a family member of someone struggling with addiction or who has recently completed rehab, it’s important to remember that your healing process matters too.
Family therapy is about more than just learning how addiction has affected your loved one’s life. It’s also an opportunity for you to voice your concerns, share how the addiction has affected you, and find ways to come together as a family in the process.
While your loved one progresses through treatment and recovery, it’s a good idea to provide firm support. Show them you’re there as much as you can, but also set clear boundaries that you won’t let them cross. Sometimes caring requires avoiding enabling the addiction, and instead, pushing your loved one to get the help they need.
How United Recovery Project Can Help
United Recovery Project is a drug and alcohol addiction treatment center that can help individuals and families rebuild during rehab. We offer flexible recovery options that are customized to your needs, including family programs, that can help everyone involved heal and rebuild trust.
You don’t have to go through recovery on your own. Our residential and outpatient treatment programs offer a variety of therapeutic options, such as group, family, and holistic therapies that can help you heal and achieve success.
Rebuilding trust after addiction is possible. Contact us today to learn more about how United Recovery Project’s family-focused treatment options can support you.
References
- Daley, Dennis C. “Family and Social Aspects of Substance Use Disorders and Treatment.” Journal of Food and Drug Analysis, vol. 21, no. 4, 2013, pp. S73–S76, doi:10.1016/j.jfda.2013.09.038. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1021949813001026
- Pettersen, Henning, et al. “How Social Relationships Influence Substance Use Disorder Recovery: A Collaborative Narrative Study.” Substance Abuse: Research and Treatment, vol. 13, no. 1-8, 2019, doi:10.1177/1178221819833379. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6410387/
